Well, I liked the song the first 37 times I heard it.

(Continued)

So, Xavier would escort Graziella in the white limousine to the appropriate Gino Vannelli hosting casino where, according to Graziella, Gino would perform his hits with sweaty, hair-tossing abandon. Her only complaint was about the other attendees: “They’re a all so old! I couldn’t even bum a hit off of any of them. The only thing those broads have in their purses are estrogen patches and jars of Esoterica. And you can’t get high off an estrogen patch. Believe me, I tried! It’s a no good.”

After her return from her first concert, it was fun to hear the stories about the show and the people she had met. Her return from her second trip, well, not so much. I still enjoyed the stories, but on her arrival back to my house, she said, “The show was great, but it’s a so nice to be home.”

HOME!?! I did not know what I was going to do. But then a lovely little thing called You Tube provided divine intervention.

“There’s a this one song that a I love!” Graziella said as she expertly surfed the web. Her fingers flew over the keyboard with the manual dexterity of a technologically savvy teenager as she pulled up the video for “Black Cars”. “You a know, I hear his music and I a can’t sit still” And with this she began to start cleaning my house. She grabbed a dust rag and she started cleaning! It was an act of GOD. Okay, I have never been one to download music off the internet because I think it’s a little pricey and the radio is free, but I have never whipped out a credit card so fast in my entire life! For the low price of $ 8.99, I downloaded her idol’s greatest hits and I have never had a house so clean!


The only problem was that she liked to hear certain songs with a fair regularity. I’m convinced that water boarding would be far less effective as a form of torturing war criminals than subjecting them to 50 listenings of Gino Vannelli’s classic “I Just Wanna Stop” I almost told her enough was enough, but when she said she thought the tile floors could use a waxing, I thought it best to let nature take its course. I tried to put on headphones, but apparently Gino Vannelli was to be a shared experience. She said, ‘No, this is a the best part! Listen!” She wanted to listen with me! So, the best thing I could do is start making lunch and hope the sound of the food processor would provide me with a bit of reprieve. And it did. Lunch was served outside……….in silence…………thank God. 

Basil Pesto
2 cups packed fresh basil leaves
2 cloves garlic
¼ cup pine nuts
⅔ cup extra-virgin olive oil, divided
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
½ cup freshly grated Pecorino cheese
1. Combine the basil, garlic, and pine nuts in a food processor and pulse until coarsely chopped. Add ½ cup of the oil and process until fully incorporated and smooth. Season with salt and pepper.

2. Add all the remaining oil and pulse until smooth. Transfer the pesto to a large serving bowl and mix in the cheese.

Well, I liked the song the first 37 times I heard it

I don’t remember saying the exact words “Of COURSE you can stay here!” but some way, somehow, that’s what was understood by Graziella Radioli. And I really didn’t mind. I had the space for her (and her driver, Xavier) but I just can’t pinpoint the exact moment I had invited them to stay at my house. I actually like having house guests. But there are house guests and there are those who simply do not understand the 5 day rule.


The Five-Day Rule:

Here’s the deal. I love my friends and I know they truly love me. I mean, I had a BBQ last week with about 100 people at any given time over to my house and I know that if push came to shove, I had at least 20 potential organ donors in that group. Some friends would give you the shirt off your back, well, I've got friends that would pony up a kidney if need be. THAT is a friend. Well, we all love each other for a reason: this group knows when it’s time to go home!

This is more related to vacations than anything else. My college buddy Jim has always commended me on my internal vacation clock. He lives in New York and has been very kind over the years in allowing me and others to stay at his place gratis. He knows I would rather spend my New York vacation dollars in restaurants than for hotels rooms, so he has accommodated my presence many times over the years knowing it will increase my joy (and waistline) during what is often the few days I take off from work in any given year. He is more than willing to let me stay because he knows that on the 5 day mark, I’m on my way. And even though someone may be a good house guest, there comes a time when the host can no longer comfortably hold in gas and really, really wants to be alone. Graziella Radioli is not one of these people.


As I said, I enjoy having house guests. For 5 days. Not for a MONTH! Unbeknownst to me, Graziella Radioli was a Gino Vannelli groupie and she arrived just in time for the Upper Midwest’s Summer Gino Vannelli Season and my house was equidistance from every Gino Vannelli performance in a 32 day period. In his day, Gino Vannelli was a fairly popular singer, and quite a handsome guy, but recent plastic surgery augmentations have given him the vague appearance of a cast member of The Real Housewives of Istanbul rather than the hirsute pop icon he once was. I really didn’t see the draw, but Graziella said Gino was her first rock and roll crush and, to her, he still looked the same as the first time she saw him. That’s love. 

To be continued